My friend is gone, to work. My family need money. I will go to work too. I need to. It seems cool to be in there, working, operating the machine. I am going to work, NOW. It is mill, I’m in here.
I am operating the frame. I can see my friend. I like here. I am happy that my family told me to do it. I can operate the machine even I‘m little slow. It is mill. I like it.
People told me to do it faster, I’m trying. It is the best of me, but they want more from me. It is getting hard and bad, worse than I ever thought before.
Now, I know the real side of the mill. I can’t do this anymore. I will leave.
I thought I left, but I’m working, again and again. People look at me like I did something wrong. Employments don’t like me, i feel like i’m criminal. Then i realize, i got caught, i tried to leave but i got caught. It’s the reason why they looked at me like i did something wrong and it’s the reason why they kept their eyes on me everytime. I don’t know what should i do now, so i work.
Laugh like machine
It’s them, again, taking our photo. I laugh, to look good, but actually I’m not. I cry, yell, and run to stop this labor, but in the picture I’m laughing. Don’t know why, I laugh. I really like working with my friends. Even i really like my friends and being with them, i don’t laugh like i do in the picture. I like that thing taking our photo, the camera, but i don’t like people who are taking it. They just take our photo and disappears. First, i thought it’s so cool. Because the camera is fancy. But Now, it feels weird, it feels like i’m being watched everytime and everywhere by them. I don’t like this feeling. I smile and laugh in front of the camera, even i’m not happy or want to laugh. I feel like i need to. So i just laugh when they are taking our photo, i feel like they’ll demand me to laugh when i don’t. So i just do it by myself, don’t want them to shout and try to teach me. I don’t know what they will do to me if i don’t laugh, but i don’t want to know and I’ll never try to know.
It is already hard for me helping my master fishing. I don’t want to be curious about it if there is a possibility that it will become more tough for me. So i’ll just laugh. Still hoping that one day somebody will notice my feeling.
I’m 13 years old. I’m one of the worker of this farm. I had friends, even here, but they are gone now. The master got new workers instead of my friends. When I had friends on this farm, it was okay. Not great, not bad, just okay. Now, without my friends, it feels like it’s too tough for me.
This farm, doing a huge plantation of tobacco. Many people working here are exposed by the nicotine so they get diseases, serious diseases. I’m too scared to stay and work here. It feels like i’ll die, it feels like people who got disease telling me that now it’s my turn. But even i have a tough life i really want to live. I really want to feel and know how it feel like when i have a power. I think it will be so cool.
I can’t sleep. Yesterday, it was okay but i can’t sleep just between one day i feel sick. My body feels like it’s not mine, it feels like it belongs to another person.
It was like a medicine, you get it until you feel good, until it kills you. It got my friends and now it is getting me.